So you’ve passed your written test, and now think you’re ready to get behind the wheel for the last
piece of the driving puzzle.
Before you pull up to the curb in your refurbished, repaired, and recycled heap of metal you call your
vehicle there are a couple things you need to know before using it for your DMV driving test.
Each state may have their own specific requirements, but generally speaking these rules should apply
to most. It‘s not because every state is equal with their political views, laws, or beliefs, but because all
share a common interest – safe roads.
Most are common sense but so is brushing your teeth twice daily yet Dentists find ways to finance
their retirement plans filling cavities. If you brush up on these tips, you should be gingivitis free in
no time and the proud owner of a new license.
If these guidelines are not met, not only will you fail your test but you will be on the wrong side of
bewildered looks from passing drivers as you attempt to steer your dilapidated vehicle through traffic.
Ultimately, you don’t need to be a certified mechanic to ensure your vehicle is operating at standards
safe for road travel, but you should know about basic general maintenance, and a lot of these fall under
1. Your car needs to have two license plates
The plates must be affixed to both the front and back of your vehicle. The rear plate needs to show your
current registration. If you don’t have a registration or know what a registration is, do not continue with
this list. Contact your local DMV office to find out how to make your car legal for road travel.
2. You must have two working signal lights and brake lights
Perhaps you’ve seen cars fail to use signal lights and nonchalantly change lanes, however that is illegal
and is a common bad driving technique. Have your Mom, Dad, brother, sister, or any human who can
tell when a light is on or not stand behind the car as you test the lights. If you are an orphan and live
alone in the woods, find a bear going through picnic baskets who knows how to work the car gauges to
assist. I’ve heard they work for salmon.
3. A horn designed for the vehicle must be functioning
Why do I need a functioning horn if none of my friends are going to be out during my driving test?
Contrary to popular belief a horn is actually used to warn other cars in the case of a possible accident
and not for alerting honeys wearing short shorts. Test your horn a few times before the test to make
sure it works properly.
4. Check your tires and make sure there are no bald spots
Your Dad might be going bald yet still manages to function on a day to day basis. Your tires can’t. Make
sure they’ve been replaced within the last few years and still have enough tread. This will not only help
you on the test, but will prevent accidents, not to mention allow your tires to keep pride among their
tire friends when the “Hair Club,” jokes start.
5. Make sure your brakes have adequate brake pressure
One of the parts of your test will be to step on the brakes and make sure they work properly. If you do
that during the test and your brakes make a sound like a dying walrus, the test administrator will raise
an eyebrow and start jotting notes in his notebook. Notes during a test equals bad. Get your brakes
checked if you are unsure of the pressure.
6. You must have a driver’s side window that rolls down
The DMV doesn’t discriminate against automatic or manual windows. Just make sure it works. If you
don’t know which side of the car is the driver’s side, stop reading this immediately and repeat the third
7. Your windshield must allow a full unobstructed field of vision
If you can’t see out your windshield that probably means you need to make a stop at the gas station
and remove the seagull droppings that have accumulated. Make sure you can see out of the entire
windshield, and not just the driver’s side
8. Two rear view mirrors
Perhaps you are a visionary. A person that is looking full speed ahead to the future, ready for
whatever challenges await. Why should I worry what is behind me you ask? Well, it is important
for vehicle safety for one. That and it’s important to the test administrator in case he has an
outstanding warrant and is attempting to elude the police during your test.
9. Your driver and passenger doors need to open from both inside and outside
Despite thinking you are Starsky & Hutch and you regularly go flying through the window into the
driver’s seat to show off for the ladies, both doors must open during your test. Try them out and go
to the mechanic if you can’t open them from both ways.
10. Your glove compartment door must be secure
The last thing you want when you hit a speed bump too fast during the test is for the glove box to
open and your Justin Bieber Cd’s come flying out. Make sure your glove box is secure to avoid any
embarrassment and a failed grade.
11. The passenger seat must be permanently attached to your vehicle
As much as the test administrator would enjoy sitting on a wobbly bar stool in the place of a car seat,
you must have a seat affixed to the vehicle. It makes the ride much more enjoyable for the DMV
employee and will help you pass.
12. Your safety belts must be functioning
Torpedoing out the front windshield looks cool in movies, but it isn’t in real life. Malfunctioning safety
belts are not only unsafe, but they also will play a key role in your failed test.
13. The emergency/parking brake must be functioning
If you are a person who enjoys parking on a hill, not setting the emergency brake then betting with your
friends on whether or not your car will remained parked or roll into someone’s living room, then this
driving test might not be for you. For the rest of you, make sure your brake holds securely in place and
get it repaired before the test if not.
If your vehicle meets these guidelines you are ready to hit the road and are well on your way to
obtaining your license.